Profanity Pen - Don't Touch My F*cking Pen
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Free delivery over £40
Easy Returns Policy
Profanity Pen - Don't Touch My F*cking Pen
Office drama really can be frustrating, especially when it's over something so petty as a stolen pen. It's almost impossible to prove who stole it because they all look the same, has probably been chewed on since its vanishing, and probably ran out of ink by the time you reclaim it! Not with this pen, people will know to keep their fucking hands off your pen!
We think it would make a great office or rude secret Santa gift!
Profanity Pen - Don't Touch My Fucking Pen Features:
Pen colour may vary
Writes in black
Standard pen size
All orders are dispatched the same day (except for Personalised Gifts - please scroll down) if you order before 4pm. We dispatch orders Mondays-Fridays (excluding Bank Holidays). Sundays and Bank Holidays are not working days, and no goods can be delivered on these days.
Royal Mail 1st Class
If you order before 4pm, you will usually receive your parcel the next working day (not guaranteed). No matter what the size or weight of your order, the total price of Postage and Packaging is £3.99. Please scroll down for personalised gifts information.
Royal Mail 2nd Class
If you order before 4pm, you will usually receive your parcel within 2 working days (not guaranteed). No matter what the size or weight of your order, the total price of Postage and Packaging is £2.99. Please scroll down for personalised gifts information.
Guaranteed Next Day Delivery
For Guaranteed Next Day Delivery, orders need to placed before 3pm to be dispatched same day. Saturdays, Sundays and Bank holidays are not delivery days. Next Day Delivery will not be delivered on these days. No matter what the size or weight of your order, the total price of Postage and Packaging is £8.99. A signature will always be required upon delivery for this service. Please note for certain postcodes this service may have delays due geographic limitations, click here for a list of affected postcodes. Please scroll down for personalised gifts information.
Orders to E.U Countries
We now deliver to the following E.U Countries; Belgium, France, Germany, Ireland, Netherlands, Portugal and Spain. If the weight of your order is under 750g, then the total price of Postage and Packaging is £6.99. If the weight of your order exceeds 750g, then the total of Postage and Packaging is £9.99. The weight of the products you place in your basket will be automatically calculated for you, and the relevant price will be displayed
Personalised Gifts are subject to Delivery and Lead Times. Lead Times are explained below, and on each Personalised Gift product page (under "Delivery Information"). Please read the Delivery Information tabs carefully.
Lead times are as follows;
Cards and Chocolate Items; 1-2 working days
Books, Diaries, Glass, Soft Toys, Wooden Items; 1-3 working days
China; 3-5 working days
Personalised gifts can be delivered to countries outside of UK and NI, but an order will have to placed over the telephone +44 (0) 1636 67 23 67.
Card Only Orders - Prices (no novelty gifts)
First Class Delivery
Delivered by Royal Mail, taking 1-3 working days. Prices are set at £1.49 for any amount of cards. Normal postage rates apply when cards are bought with a novelty gift.
If you have not received your order within 5 working days of placing your order please contact your local Royal Mail Sorting Depot to inquire if they have a parcel for you. If they do not then please contact us (see Contact Us page for details). We cannot arrange a specific time for delivery.Should a delivery be attempted whilst you are out, the post office or courier will leave a card with instructions on what to do. The post office and couriers usually keep the parcels for about a week.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
Our terms and conditions do not affect your statutory rights as a consumer. Your rights are the same on the web as they are on the high street.
All lost, damaged or delayed packages must be reported to us within 28 days.
You can cancel or return your order within 28 days without reason. We will refund your money, less any gift wrapping or additional shipping charges which you requested within 30 days.You are required to return the goods and any manufacturers box or packaging, and you have a responsibility to take care of those items whilst in your control. Unless the goods are faulty or are the wrong goods, you will bear any costs in returning the goods. You will be responsible for any shipping or legal costs we incur in retrieving the item(s) should you not return them. You must first call 01636 67 23 67 before returning goods to obtain a RMA number.
Make sure you pack the goods well and send the parcel by some method where you will obtain a signature on delivery.
PLEASE NOTE : For most items you have the legal right to cancel your order within 7 working days of receiving the goods. However this does not apply to personalised or customised products, or items made specifically for you. Your rights to return goods to us will not apply if you have made a spelling mistake or wording error on your order and it has been sent to production.
Choosing the wrong delivery option, (i.e choosing the card only order delivery option when you have bought a gift), will result in your order not being dispatched, and a payment will need to be made to cover the rest of the P & P cost. You will also incur an additional 50p charge to cover the extra transaction fee.