5. Ear Trumpet
With old age comes hearing loss, it’s something us humans simply have to put up with. The same goes for losing your memory and eyesight.
Technology has come a long way, though! Introducing the ear trumpet, a revolutionary device that allows you to amplify any sound surrounding the trumpet, simply compressing it and forcing it down into your lug hole. So what’s so revolutionary? It requires no batteries, no expensive replacement costs and no expensive repair bills!
As an added benefit, you can use it as a wee funnel! Stuck in the middle of the beautiful Yorkshire moors and need a wee but don’t want it to just dribble anywhere? Then this is the solution for you! It's also super easy to clean, so you can start putting it back in your ear after washing it in the iron rich rivers of the moors!
- Constipation Reliever
There’s nothing worse than requiring a poo, and no matter hard you push it just won't come out, it’s even worse if you’re sceptical of modern medicine like many old men are! This gift is so easy to use and explain to others that it often appears in cartoons, often produced by acme industries.
Simply place the novelty dynamite into the anus and light the fuse, and hope for the best! Best-case situation is that it scares you so much you follow through, worse case scenario is that you burn your pubes off and have half a stick of novelty dynamite stuck up your arse, and you will have to explain to the ambulance crew how it goes there)
- Past It Notes
Memory loss is unfortunately one of those things that also comes with old age, and often than not is something we can’t prevent with modern medicine. But it is something that cheap novelty gifts can help with!
On each and every past it note is the outline for what you might to do during each day, including getting up, getting washed, putting one’s teeth in, eating, and making sure that you ring the kids and grandkids at a suitable time.
It also includes a list of items you must not forget when you go outside the house, including keys, glasses, coat, some form of money and of course, pants. Leaving the house with even one of these items may become traumatic! And you don’t want your elderly relatives to be in some sort of trauma now, do we?
- Wrinkle remover
Another problem that comes with old age is wrinkles, and you don’t even have to be old to get wrinkles! Apparently, according to the adverts on every 30 seconds, women hate the appearance of wrinkles and the fact Cheryl Cole can be seen reducing wrinkles by using miracle cream that costs £30 a pop! As with all our other articles, you know that all our products are much, much cheaper than that, and they do the exact same job!
Introducing the wrinkle remover! Simple, take the wrinkle remover out of its package and simply apply it to your skin!
1. Saggy Scrotum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de7VFapVEs4